As i swallow down my lung-freezing, cappucino smoothie that i have bought to momentarily stave off the (im- 27- and- single- which- normally- does- not- bother- me -until- the -year- winds- down- like- this- and-i-am-trying-to-behave) holiday blues, my restuarant- afforded vantage point allows me to watch the mawl crawlers crawling on by, as i contemplate my current mood and the extra push from within that i seem to have to exert now to honestly feel, well, happy.
I have very little time for Christmas, to be honest, although i cannot avoid the excitement that comes from gift-buying and all the extra cash that needs spending on coffee dates, movie dates, new years plans and the likes (what is that called- the adrenalin [excitement mixed with fear] that comes from spending money irresponsibly? Haha). Christmas ITSELF, i feel, is a shallow convention and any Christian cliche’s thrown at me over this period a mild-to-gagging irritation. Yes, Jesus was born, yes it is good news, yes Santa is a delightful concept to any child still believing in him (although the Santa i just passed in the mall seems to be a bit of a old-timer, pervert and not one i would let my kids touch with a barge-pole) but seriously, im more captivated by the concept of a Source/Being that conceptualises things like galaxies and colour and LIFE and that still exists even beyond an incarnation/birth, death and resurrection in a MIGHTY format than having to forcibly steer my brain towards a 25 December-inspired ‘thank you’ towards the heavenlies. I shall not start on my feelings towards Christmas carols…
One of my thoughts is that I believe that we live far too much walking on concrete and far too little time amongst the trees, spiders, moss, rivers and more earthy things: which makes it THAT much easier to get caught up in trivialities, to be honest. Because we are excitement seekers by nature- the mundane become unbearable in our 8-5 jobs (well, yours: i work 8h30-14h00)- its probably that we NEED a festive season to prop up the holidays. We need the shops in the malls to twinkle their lights scintillatingly at us in order to give us that feeling of…difference. We need to celebrate things and have a reason to bring family and friends together beyond the day-to-day.
But, perhaps if our homes shook more in the wind and our food grew under our noses, our families were a campfire away and our God did not have to shout through the window panes, we would be a little more satisfied and content with our realities. Just a thought.