I and my single, female equivalents are facing a rather large life dilemma these days; especially those of us who have been in this ‘singles’ saddle for an increasing number of years.
Our bums are starting to take on a more leathery ‘texture’ and our walks are morphing into lone ranger swaggers! We are one step away from spitting tobacco onto the ground beside us as we singlehandedly break up bar brawls and try to avoid being scalped by red Indians…
Forced by a single status to adopt approaches, mindsets and inner resolve gritty enough to winter lonely aches and voids, we live with pets or house plants as opposed to warm-blooded, safe, dependable men. We come home to what feels like a chest freezer at times, as the emptiness of our flatlets knock us squarely in the solar plexus.
All our feminine dreams are suspended as we are forced to think on daily bread, securing our jobs, becoming productive and happy and accomplished AND more attractive and spiritual and hardcore enough to say we are ‘OK’ despite not being able to nurture children, love on someone else, or give of ourselves in an unguarded, feminine manner.
The dilemma comes in the fact that men do not necessarily like woman who swagger. Men do not necessarily like woman who match them stride for stride because they are jolly well learning how to! Men first have to get over the tobacco chewing, the muck on our shoes, the hardened glint in our eyes and the rifle at our side before they might approach us to consider having anything close to a relationship with us. They also need to get over the fact that they might need to ‘up’ their own Indian scalping game to catch our attention.
What are the solutions to this dilemma? How do you keep polish on your nails and change your tyre or mow your lawn at the same time? How do you stay soft and attractive in demeanour when life asks you to be hardcore?
I think that the kindness I ask from people this day is that you don’t point out the obvious to us leathery types.
Don’t tell an older single lady that she will never get married because she is too hardcore for a guy. Why not just hand her a bullet for that rifle and tell her to get on with it?
Don’t casually crush her dreams underfoot because you don’t fully comprehend the rock and the hard place she finds herself in. Your telling her to be less hardcore will not take away the reality that she just jolly well has to be!
Im not asking for condescension or to be patronized in it. Some kindness and tongue biting would just be grand is all…